My dog got skunked the other day. And it's been awful. Especially awful since the house has reached a stench where you want to constantly gag. I've been using my sister's bathroom to shower since the upstairs one smells the most. My sister is the only one that uses that bathroom and I can't even explain how many haircare/body care products she has in there, and it's just her that uses that shower. I mean there are at least 5 different shampoos and her hair isn't even long enough to fit in a ponytail. To explain how much she has (and to annoy her) I'm going to do a comparison to show the extent of what she has.
Heather has more products in the shower than the amount of...
...band shirts I own.
...teen vampire romance novels that have come out since Twilight.
...times she's ripped her cornea.
...skinheads at a Rancid show.
...foundations I've tested, hated, then gave to her.
...calories in a Crumbs cupcake.
...hipsters in Union Square.
...comebacks Britney has had.
...shoes I own.
...times Taking Back Sunday changed their second singer.
...kids who got hurt from Sky Dancers before they were recalled.
...Louis Vuitton knock offs on Canal Street.
...times she microwaves the same cup of coffee in a day.
...times Jay-Z said he was retiring.
...comma, splices, in, my, pape,rs.
...dots in the Damien Hirst Complete Spot collection.
...13 year old girls at Bamboozle.
...pop culture references in a Family Guy episode.
...high school bands that have covered Damn It by Blink 182.
...days Kim Kardashian was married (times two).
...plays of Perfect Teeth on her mp3 player
...times Star Wars has went back into theaters.
...times Ashanti says baby in the song Rock Wit U.
...shows she's been to since 2001.
...people who's status update said "mind=blown" after seeing Inception.
"Then I'll wash my hands clean of you. Clean of you."